Fuckodoodooledooo!!

I know its holiday! But I have this feeling something beneath my deep gut! Something bad is happening! I should be happy in holiday...no? But Im not, is it the fact that i miss her, or something i missed, or something i wanted to do?

I have no idea! Having things to do i planned before exam started! Its finally here! BUT i feel as life is just paused! I seem lost! I cant find my inspiration to even have fun! Did i not deserve this holiday! What crap am i typing! Have no idea my head is somewhere else while my heart is taking over now! I feel so damn emotional! I wonder why??

It seems so empty now, I guess i need a long solitude of myself, rearranging my thoughts,my feelings, my pride! I feel like going up a mountain and just diving out at the fluffy clouds that is impossible to touch, falling down with no shit attach in my mind, no drop of problems in my life and just falling deeper & deeper of not knowing what i end up with!

I think thats what just i need a suprise or an unexpect turn in my life, to start something new! Dont get me wrong, i thank god that i am alive & for the lucky life he gave me! But people seems to be greedy & want to be more than perfect!

I am confuse,
where is my saviour.