LIKE SHIT! I feel so 'emo' lately. Emotion is just uncontrollable now. Its hard to be with someone you like, isn't it? To have comfort with another other. Well its just difficult. Not that I'm desperate nor want to be with someone. But I just want a person who understands & can be with me alone. Better yet, a female companion. I don't ask for much.
I know for an instant, a girl who means alot to me will make me 'smile' just like that, but at the same time makes me' down' just as fast since I know I just couldn't tell her.
Not only is that f-ed up.
I was driving home one afternoon, passed the cemetry. Tear's start coming out very, very slowly. I just realised that I miss my father so much! I thought of his presence, what he gave me, what he sacrifice for me, what he taught me, what he scolded me for. I really miss that. I try to make fun of myself at that particular time whilst still driving & all. But my feelings have just been bottled up for too too long. I couldn't stop. I learn to look at the bright side, being optimistic, being calm, being a fool from this endeavor. It helped.
After he passed, I felt so crushed. Too lonely, which actually gave me the courage to confess to a certain someone few months after. It made me feel at ease to have that someone in my life. We cared for each other, made each other smile. Though it was for awhile, it was worth remembering. I was reluctant to fall in love again after we were apart.
I guess all I need is that 'someone' who can make me smile, & not to screw up & actually be friends without her knowing that she means a whole lot to me. =)
Aite, I felt better. Sorry for being a lil too over the top mellow dramatic! & thanks to Bob Marley's - Don't worry be happy. Made me much much better. My blog prevails again in making my stress out at it.
Good luck y'all. Addiction to 311-Amber. Fucking beautiful song.
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