Ehem

I know I have a tumblr & wouldnt want to write here. But, I have an urge to write here. I guess i do miss this blog, reading what I've wrote here feels connected somehow. Maybe its the atmosphere where I feel familiar & comfortable to write instead of the modern tumblr. Nothing against it.

Anyhoooo, I promised to girl that I would update soon. & yes, she has been patient & I owe her anyways. But I do not know if it will be long, let my half awake brain & wondering urge hand do the work aye.

I havent slept at right terms meaning to say I've been nocturnal, proper sleep is rare even though its holiday. Why, just yesterday yesterday, Hafizu slept over & we did not sleep the whole day until morning. It was an awesome day btw, going to music crib studio watching them record & watched New Moon after that. Which btw gives me an insider of that movie. Its really just about the 'Hot' people. It was alright not a big fan but the people do atract me. Roar Ashley Green! Anyhoo, craving for pizza bbq chicken & in need to watch Ninja Assassin! Yeah, very random indeed.

I really miss this feeling I have. Its been quiet, no biggie for me though, entertainment is everywhere in my house, let me outdoor, indoor?, gaming, internet gaming, ps3 internet gaming, watching, excercising, eating.... & day dreaming. Oppps too much detail but indeed, I miss having the thought of having a person who cares & makes you laugh right there with you at most times. I'm a loving person but where I direct my love is very large, you know! Its quiet lifeless now.

Wait. I'm darn sleepy. I'll be back! =B

Maaaaah!

Temporarily, this will be my dairy.

I'll be at Tumblr. ;D

Say What

My my, look at that, I decided to blog today. Hello & morning, ocassionally visitors.

Its so out of the blues, so take note, it'll be random! Its 2.42am, I was about to sleep after putting my brain in a dreadlock mode of studies. 60 blistering, mind blowing questions & reading in between worked a sweat in my brain.

Its so dark now, with no light except for the laptop & a lamp couple meters away. No wonder my eyes are damaged in an instance! But weird thing is, I dont do anything about it. The atmosphere is cold, but for some reason iam sweating inside my shirt, too darn annoying. -.-

I ate shepperd's pie few hours ago, I guess that's why iam still awake. Though i know iam suppose to be asleep by now, I could not help but browse through the net & listening to hardcore music... scratch that, soothing emo music! HAH! --'

With many thoughts in my head, I just couldnt help but to have a session of day dreams since this morning. Iam just that bored? I have restricted in playing games, going to the net, contact-ing with them friends, doing what makes me feel alive (at some point!). So i really cant help it but fantasies of what i wish to do! x.x

I miss handful of people right now. I miss the raya hangouts? This is so contradicting to what I said earlier that I despise Raya. But its pleasent nonetheless this year. I miss you guys already & its been just a week after that day. Once again, I recall 'Form 5' is an awesome batch this year. =')

Hell, Monday is the start of my exam! (Random right!) So i calculated that my climax of the exam will be the 1st & 2nd week of the exam where I will come across stress! Since I know i'll stress it out! Iam not making any sense am I! & last 2 weeks will be a breeze? Hopefully! Yeah, my exam lasts for 5 weeks.

Pmb-ians, are well on their way to holiday mood. How I envy them. Which reminds me of the thought of flying my way to Singapore 2 days after the exams! YEAH BABY~ & this is where one of my day dream takes place. Bring-ing a fellow friend there! A girl to be exact. Well, that wont happen anytime soon.

I guess i'll turn into my sub consious now, I'll need the brain power of a CPU to conquer another 80 questions! My goal? I guess so! Wish me luck.

It might be another week when I'll return. Its a 1 week blog delimma, I guess! ;D
Good Luck to All who is having exams.

I'll leave you with an inspiring quote. It helped me.

'Knowing is not enough; we must apply.'
'Willing is not enough; we must do.'
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Minor Thoughts

Dear Readers, (If they are any left)

Its been awhile. It was official that my blog was dead. But I was reading some post & it got me inspired to write. Well, I do miss the fact that I do not blog as much, but we are in entitle to have our freedom away from the internet. Its not working though.

Yes, indeed our mock are over, forever! What a thought of joy, but come to think of it, knowing that we would not have it anymore, well, saddens me? Yeah, I think I'm weird. I think due to the fact that we are going to a new stage in life. Our reign in high school is coming to an end. Hopefully.

I enjoyed being in elementary, but high school is just something else. College? Sure I'm looking forward to it. But I know, I'll miss my high school days, especially the amazing people I've met & of course the wonderful moments that took place. Face it, what is school without them. Sure, my school is a control & rule freak & has funny management etc , honestly speaking. But I'm still thankful, It can be considered as a second home.

My point being is that, do not overlook what life has to offer. 'Kids wish to become adults, adult wish to be in their glory years'. We often overlook these. Sure, you heard that phrase plenty of times. My prespective in live is to be cautious yet optimistic yet faithful & thankful too. That's how I'm raised. To have greater principle of knowledge & patience is where I walk on, but at the same time to rock \m/

I'm mold this way not by chance, but by my surroundings, namely; my family, my friends, my experiences, let it be good or bad. I've learn my mistakes. I'm proud to what I've grown to. I'm Thankful.

Sure my post seemingly have meaningless statement but hey, isnt that what expressing writing is about. I'm sure I'll rant more about school anytime soon now & hopefully stay in one topic, okay. Till then.

Sincere Arif Nayan.

Ripped Away.

Do you know how it felt like to give it your all, & at the end it was taken away, just like that. Well yeah, probably most people go through that. & here i was an idiot to think it was going well to a point it might be grow into something beautiful. But some people are just harsh.

No wonder the word 'Love' is spoilt. Ahhhhhh! After all i've been through this year is fucking tough! Is like my dad's death wasnt enough. Now it just push me off to my brink existence. It fucking sucks maaa.

Ah my god, I just feel like spinning an animal head's 360 until it ripped off! LOL! Naw, I wouldnt do such thing. Though my drums took most my hits! But its all good, I guess thats why I love drums.

Iam too hyper or too depressed too much this week. I guess thats what i get for loving someone too much. Thank god, I aint going insane, I think >.<

But I still have them friends. =')
School is coming to an end my dear form 5's.
Lets kick ass! \w/ Screw love life!

Sorry lh if ada yg terasa.

End.

The Smile On Your Face.

Is without a fact that her face reminds me of a warm feeling inside,
Without a doubt that her smile shine me,
Is prove that her existence is enough to make me whole,

I Love You Aime.
Raaaaawwwwr~


Back in 2008.


A Good Morning Post for you love.


I know how much you love sunflowers,
So here, a field of 'em with b-e-a-u-tiful clouds just for you.
xD

Good Morning Love.

im going to sleep now

Hi! I’m back again! I guess my yesterday’s post isn’t my last post after all. I just got to tell you what happened today! I’ll do it in numbers so it would be a lot easier for you to identify if it was a good or a bad day. Because I can’t really tell!

You know what? Maybe not. I just don’t think it’s an appropriate post for a time like this – Puasa. I feel like I’m half malay! I don’t do fasting though but I do wake up at 4 in the morning for my calls haha.

Oh and look what Ella did to me …

She ironed my hair! I was all no-no at first and I don’t know what made me agreed to her. It was ticklish. I’m just very sensitive like that, okay! I remember, when I went to the saloon to get my hair trimmed, I couldn’t stop laughing. The woman even asked me ‘Are you okay?’ because I giggled every time she touches my hair. I love going to the saloon though.

I have been told that it’s not okay to talk about chow during puasa. Also, they said that people who are fasting are not allowed to pick their nose. But what if it’s really itchy and you couldn’t stand it anymore? Will it be okay if some one else does it for you?

Nothing, just a wonder.

Good morning, everyone! I’m listening to Savage Garden now ...

I'll be your dream I'll be your wish I'll be your fantasy.
I'll be your hope, I'll be your love, be everything that you need.
I'll love you more with every breath truly madly deeply do...

Such a corny song. Reminds me of Arif :P

The Early Mornings.

How awesome it is to have puasa once again. I recently liked it, yeah recently! xD Well now i adore the month of puasa. Anyhoo today sahur was unusual, I think the fact that my dad does not wake me up like he used too makes it empty. But it has positive effects too, we prepare, we eat, we clean, we pray together. =)

Insyallah that we'll still do this routine this puasa.

Sahur mornings are fine, especially getting to hear a certain girls voice in the mornings. Err, that in a way sounds scary. Well at least not this girl, though she occassionaly go 'uuugrrrrr' but that itself is so cute & what goes after that is 'Ariiiiiiiif'! (is between her & I really, I know the others are blur now! xD)

Yeah i'll stop here for now.

My sunflower, My inspiration, My love. =)

Ps. I know its not much, but its something.
Good Morning people. Have a great puasa people! xD

Ps.2, Love make sure you study for your upcoming exam~ x)
Have a great day love.

I L-o-v-e Y-o-u Love! =)

i want some hunburger

Puasa starts tomorrow, my second assessments start this coming Tuesday and Arif’s mock is in the next couple of weeks. I guess this post will be the last one I’d be posting for the next few weeks because I’m done sorting my files (FINALLY! And the amazing thing is that, it only took me one day!) meaning I don’t have to spend most of my afternoon in front of the computer and I also need to shove myself in my books for my upcoming exams.

I don’t have much to say. And yes, you are saved by my very unproductive day. But I do have one thing. Did you know that I’m in love? It’s this guy who loves to pout.

If you get to see him anytime soon, please let him now I miss him terribly.

Ooo, It's Me

I’m in my Barbie night gown with my Yakult bottle while listening to Tracy Chapman and sorting my computer files at the same time. I know, I know, I must be looking horrible right now with my Barbie night gown that I had since I was 7 (Yeah! It still fits me!). But I always look horrible! So it’s no surprise, really.

I remember I made a post saying Tracy Chapman is a man. But she’s a woman! She’s a woman who makes great songs who owns an awesome website! I’ve always wondered how they made her website. And I came to a conclusion that they did it by … magic. Yup, magic. I’ll say it again, ma-gic. Magic like Magic Johnson who played for the Los Angeles Lakers of the NBA! One of the best players of all time.

Lets sing!

Let me be the one who calls you baby, all the time
Surely you can take some comfort, knowing that you're mine
Just hold me tight, lay by my side
And let me be the one who calls you baby, all the time

I found my place, in the world
Could stare at your face for the rest of my days
Now I can breathe, turn my insides out and smother me
Warm and alive I'm all over you, would you smother me?

I didn’t get to go to the clinic last Wednesday so I was kind of upset because I was really looking forward for some news. Well anyways, we did go around Kiulap and Gadong to look for a pet but first, trying to make up our mind if we should get either get a rabbit or a fish.

I wanted to get a rabbit but I don’t think I can handle that. I’m not really a pet-person, you see. That doesn’t mean I don’t like animals because I do! I love animals. I’m just … scared. They have teeth, okay! There are possibilities of me getting bitten. So I said that we should get a fish instead. A Goldfish. To be precise, a Bubble Eye Goldfish! They look something like this ...

Isn’t it cute?! There's another fish that I saw that has a bulgy belly with huge cheeks but I couldn't remember the name of it. I still think this is better looking though. I'm going to buy one this Monday!

Do you ever wonder why I am here? Well, I do. And all I could really recall is Arif saying that he needs something to make him blog again. And before that I said, ‘Lets change your blog layout.’ But before that I asked, ‘Why don’t you blog anymore?’ Yeah, that’s how I got stuck in here.

I tried blogging in my blog but I realized that I couldn’t blog without a picture to post with it. So maybe, when I am trough sorting my files – which I think would take a long, long time because I’ve been sorting it since God knows when and until now, I’m still not done with it yet – then I’d start posting regularly again.

It's two in the morning! Not everyone is sleeping but I'm sleepy so I'll be going now. Good Night everyone! Don't let Ella bite!

This is Aime! Again!

Yeah, yeah, yeah

Today, I came to school with a hole on my sock. I was in a hurry this morning that I didn’t even realize it until Mr. Bright said that we were going to have a test. I took off my shoes (it’s what I always do whenever we have economics test – it helps me write the answer properly. Don’t ask why) and saw my big toe naked. I was whoa when I saw it but I didn’t really care. Yeah, I finished my economics test without my shoes on.

Nothing much happened today. I went to school, I wasn’t late, I had my physics class, my economics test, recess with Arif, computer test, art class and I did 8 questions for Geography while listening to Ella’s rants.

Never in my life have I been more sure,
So come on up to me and close the door.
Nobody's made me feel this way before;
You're everything I wanted and more.

Balisong has been playing in my iTunes on repeat for days and even until now. It’s in my head and I tend to sing it every where I go.

I’m kind of excited for tomorrow because it’s Wednesday, a tuition day, and the fact that tomorrow’s the 2nd appointment to the doctor! I need to scream –

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh! AAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhHHHHHHHHHH! OOOOO … EEEEEEEEE … AAAAAAAAAA …. aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhHH!

I’m waiting for my dinner to arrive and I don’t think I’ll be having it any time soon. There’s a rumble in my tummy! Hear it? I want to eat. I feel like I haven’t eaten for a year! I had a terrible, terrible gastric few weeks ago and the only thing I could eat are bunches of leaves, cut into pieces then threw in a bowl with pepper. I actually felt two kilograms lighter a week after but lately, with all these food cravings and cheesecake and ice-cream yesterday, I think I’m gaining it back again.

Anyways! Arif’s on! LATER!! OR NEXT TIME!!

Look, I found something too!

My Inspiration You Are...

Once again, Iam blogging. Though it'll be at random times & not daily!(yet) First glance of my blog, I want to thank you, Aime for the wonderful job rearranging my blog & for leaving me post. It made blog anew, with the cute warriorawr bear you bestow on it! Not only that but she saved me for so many times that I felt in debt to her. Dont worry, I know how to return a favour. =')

My current situation is indeed dier, I will sooner or later face my challenge, that is facing my O'Levels & still too lazy to study. But not only that, what I thought wont happen, happened. Sorry that I have to mention it again, Iam not over it yet. Just too remind people that, unexpected things can happen. But then again, I also was blessed by the likes of friendship.

A friend, who I came to love in the end. Who was just there right by my side all the time & talked randomly & unstopable-ly? =) But that dont annoy me, instead put a smile on my face. She is my warmth on my cold days, my saviour at my darkess moments, my peanut butter & jelly? Seriously, Iam just that corny. ;D She is afterall my inspiration. =')

I love you friend.

& that concludes it for now. That actually took very long! I was thinking of too much crappy things & do not want to talk crap.

I am missing you too.

what would you do?

Dear honey in my popcorn, the ice cream in a sunny day and the man who called my mama hot,

You know there’s a beginning for everything. And your beginning is now. This right here is yours. Take it with both hands and show to the world that you’re as fierce – yet cuddly – as that warriorawr bear on the top of your blog!

You’re going to say “Ar will eat you” to every little complication you face in the near future because you da Bear! And you know that after every uphill struggle, every mess, just as long as you know how to get back up again, you’ll find something new. Maybe, something even better. That’s what you did to me. And I’m very much grateful for that.

I can’t be corny and sentimental all the way, okay?! I’m not a guy! I’m a woman! With manly hormones! And you’re a man who’s going to start blogging because I just gave you a kick for that. Do you like it? I changed the colour in a lighter composition just so you’ll feel like I have opened the blinds of your window lalalalalalala haha.

With lots of love, every little stars on your sky during the night and a sunshine for your tomorrow,

Aime!



You have a better EEE than I do! But okay, I love you! :D

Thank You In Order

I would like to Thank my supporting family especially my friends with their msgs, symphaty & to the one who came & visit me at home. I cant Thank You, my friends enough. Thanks to your msgs which lift me up & made me smile. Thanks for all your loves & symphaty. I have great caring friends. I love you guys. =')

Thanks for the people who stood up with me all night/morning when I was in the hospital. Thanks for people who blog/post about my lost. Thanks for the people who msged me. Really you really helped me with the care you guys give me at my times of need.

I'll try my best to maintain my sanity. Its all thanks to you guys. =')

Its Fact...

My dearly beloved father have just passed away on 18.06.09, around 1.30 in the morning.
To have lose someone so close, Its a total heartache, But what Iam relieve of is my father wont feel no pain nor suffering anymore. But with a price.

He has brought up 4 wonderful children, He fend & support the family. He grew us up with respect, patience, dignity, honor, kindness & love.

But what I feel sad for is that I didnt, we didnt get to say goodbye nor apologize. We only get to whisper in his ears at the last moment though we know he was unconssious. I could not help but cry when I heard he was in critical. We, as a family shed our tears as we have nothing else to do to help.

So we stood waiting, hearing the dreaded monitor, watched my father have 2 heart failure which bought a little time. Till the meds didnt work & we have nothing to do but to pull out my father's life support. Then the monitor sound came to stop....

If only I could turn back time, I would not change what will be happen since there is no way changing the outcome rather to spend all my time with my father & took care of him even longer & be the son he wants be to be.

Till now, I just cant shake of what has happen...

.... Sleep whilst hanging on life support, though my dad is now hooked on machines keeping him breathe steadily. Still unconssious, n breathing heavily on his sleep, makes me sad but i knw its saving him instead seeing him in pain, it makes me thankful tht he is not feeling his pain. I'll cont on tne comp soon. I'll just be patient a little longer.

Father

Hey all, blogging through hospital. Its been 1 month tht my dad was sick. To say the least his old diesease came back, where once he lost his leg bone due to this infection. Now it has gotten to the arms, making my dad weak & fell ill. He actually collapsed yesterday. I never saw my dad so weak before. Went to emergency just to find out tht his bp is way low & lower than tht he could of..... As soon he was feeling better his infection in his bone spread. An infected his lungs. The worst sight of,my life seeing my dad gasping for air. Plus he felt so weak. Each gasp he took as was like his last breathe. I cant stand my dad, looking at his condition like this. My vfamikly arnd my dad, went silent with tears reaching its limit. So then there was no other way then let my dad sleep

Let The Hour Glass Passes

Bloggers log, things are not what it seem to be. It seems to be too quiet, to not having the people who keeps you smile or literally make you sane everyday. Due to the fact I need my rest, I tend to doze or laze around at any moment. Thats distrubing, I dont want to waste my time sleeping, but I cant help it.

The holiday I planned, seems to dwindle because of no avail, but what the heck its still the starting few days of holiday, I want it to go slow sailing yet be a meaningful holiday. So as you out there.

I really have nothing much to say, I think. My thoughts have been filled with crap & goals. So far so good I must say. (=

There, a little update for y'all.
Have a pleasent holiday! (=

Pictures that last a life time

Mummeh~ & pretty waitress at the back! *Aissh! xD
Face to face lh lawaa! =B

Bday girl~ 26 udah~
x)

Main game nie! xP

The ladiess~

Bros~

Be-lated Bday Girl! x)

Errr! xD

Cara bazh posing! x)
Eseh isteri ah, model nie!

Lookie camera! xD

Si isteri & si scandal! xD

awwww~

Syg! Blur ah! Lawa udah smile!
x.x

Org vain belakang! x)

Vintage look!

Cantiks, she is! (=

Eseeh~

Syaah~ Chel~ Errr~

Lawaa the pic! mcm kn kiss! HAHAHA!

Vain eyh! Cute lagi tue!
I meant Rachelle!

x)

D girls~

The sipit mata! (nadadeh!) Lawa nah! & the elegant ^^

Ging! x)

Untuk shapa tue ah! ;D

Blur! x.x

Pooopoo looks adorable here! ^^

Org kontrol, org marung, org mabuk & org sakai!
Apaan! xD

Rachel looks drunk here! xD
Tpi cantik lh masih! ;P

Cuti at last!

Hello kawan kawan! Lol! sounds like those kids shows! x.x

Hey people, woah its here! Holiday! Wohooo, some might not like it because it is boring but iam not one of them. I need my time, my dignity, my pride & my freedom! *takes deep breathe! Wah, i really need this! (=
I have few plans ahead that I can wait, beacuse i just want to take my time slowly, no need to rush. ^^

The point is, Iam glad holiday is here.

Owh I have a owed post for my BBBBBFL (Best Best Best Best Best Friend For Life) Woah, its true because she just means alot to me! (=
So my hyper aside! (*Dang red bull!)

I would like to wish my close friend Bazilah Binti Hj Besar for a happy belated (very!) 17th Birthday. I really cannot thank her enough to what she have given me, her love, her care, her lust, her loyalty & her yellowness! x) Its really her who actually give a damn about me! Which makes me feel guilty, that she helps me more than I give her attention. & what more is that Iam older to her, which Iam suppose to take care of her. Its one of her nature that makes her super special in my life.

Though the troubles & hard times we had, could we shed tears & fill an ocean, heartbreaking moments that hurts like 1000 needles poking on one's heart we still manage to be bestest of friends. That bond we have is what keeps me stronger. It made me learn, but if only if I can mend her broken heart, that will gladly give me a glad feeling, even the slightest feeling that I can make her happy will go a long way. The fun times, the laughter, the joy, the yellowness we had is worth living for. I'll always will treasure it, though how my memory keeps shrinking each day since we grow old.

(hrmmmm, my sentences is very errr somehow not understandable) xD

What more can I say, this girl is my angel...

I love you, my angel. (=

(=

Another set of pictures~

Smile~

Mizan, Keemy, Bday girl & Muiz

kami anak si Faiz! xD
Wife nya si.... xP

Vain through another camera! x)

Black & white vintage!

Mr nerds! hahaha! xD

PLAYER! xD

=P

Parteh~

The 3-ious unite ^^

Husband & husband! xD

Pruteey~

Vain people! xD

Candle blow out~

Romantic moments! xDDDD

Liat kn gigi lawaa~

Another player! x)
Opppss! xD

Mafia gangster!

The bosses!

Shapa paling feminine nie! xD
Gay sul nya! xP

Mamams~

Ivan, Belle~ & Syaza~ ;P

& again! xD

Papa Joel, poopoo & Belle~

Syazaa~
=D

& yes for once, ada our picture! Tpi not satisfying! xD
Nanti th lagi! (=