A bitter farewell...

By the title you should know by now that my day didnt go as well as i planned! Sudah th i had a horrible dream that woke me up at 4+...

That dream was freaky & so realistic that my heart start pounding when I woke up! What dream you ask? Its about her! It was an awful dream! I still can remember it! I hold a grudge on this certain person in that dream! Of course not her! But yeah whatever! Its only a dream! I fucking miss her that morning! So much!

Another question that have been floating inside my head! Fuck am i emo? or is this just the feeling of love? I have no idea! I miss her every second, i think of her, i even think of her in my uncontrolled dream! But what I did realise is when ever she is not around Im moody! Or is this what you call puberty? If it is, growing up must sucks!

So lets carry on! Today was a really bad day!

1. Of that dream i had.
2. I know that she will leave today.
3. I suck at Poa & eventually have to do it!
4. Im stressed out by these long exams.
5. Frequent headache!
6. Moody since exam started!

Yes quite a hand full for a mere mortal such as my self to handal!
I know im sensitive! Most people are! Writing stuff like this! It makes my morale weak!

Poa as i thought is difficult! Stressed out! So yeah after that hanged out with her for a moment! A brief moment! Then staring at my phone to see if my dad came yet with the gifts i wanted to give to her! Quickly went to the front miss calling my dad! As i was not stressed already! Clock was ticking so fast & my dad arrived! I dont know what time she usually goes home! So I ran to the canteen! But no where of her! I ran outside the school! No luck!

Msged her! But she left already! I was shattered! Like really upset! Walking back to my car as seem i cant walk, with an injured pride! Slowly came in the car! I was not mad at him as i was just to shaken! My mouth wont open my nerves are shaking my eyes were teary! A big hollow in my heart! Wanted to said those words i've been dying to say! & just giving her gift! But yeah whatever is only a gift I suppose! A bitter farewell i must say...

I was shallow all the way to the hospital where my dad want to meet his old friend! Walked there quietly! I felt angry & upset as i got to thinking of that incident! Wanting to injure my self! Punching the car & elevator! Tears fell! Good thing it was a hospital! Met my dad's old classmate! It shaken me on how fragile he was lying on his bed so weak & in pain! My dad was in silence too! I realise how short our life are! My dad placed his hands with his! They are like form3 buddies who worked together in immigration! As my dad told me of his stories!

We both walked in silence! Soon got to the car that gift was just there in the car! I saw the sight of that gift an unhappy one... It just does not complete my day! A deeper feeling in my emotion! It feels like my life just got paused or was hanging! Fuck! I so miss her much! I love her!

Well have fun on your hols~
I'll Miss You Much~
I Love You So~
<3

Syaza Adlina..

I really do Love her~
A certain girl who is way beyond sweet,
A loving daughter, smart, caring, loving much girl,
A beautiful, stunning, gorgeous girl by the name who is perfect to pronounce~

When I call out her name, I get this little tingle over my body,
Though I cant explain it, it seems your my only cure for this addiction I have all along,
What addiction you may ask, addiction of wanting you all this time...
Don't you know, I long this moment for a long time~

Might not be that obvious at times, But you do know I have crushes, but...
It does not seem to work or even relate anything to what I feel for you,
I dont want to freak you out, as I only was trying to express myself,
your laughter that made me smile, your smile that makes my day~

In this short period of time, I realised that your a unique person who I always dreamt about,
Who is perfect in your own ways, I might sound obsessive, but not only my brain is thinking this,
but so is my heart, To me I consider you as a perfect match, my soulmate as i mention alot,
Only in return I want you to acknowledge me, put me in your life as you see it now~

I might not be perfect for you, but I sure damn can try to make you happy,
I do try my best, and still be my self trying to fulfill it,
I dont want to force you to love me, but a hint of your generosity from you,
is what i considered enough for me~

If might anything goes wrong, I want you to know that i'll be there, try my best to be there,
I'll always cherish and care your feelings, the best I could, with every tender love,
you know you mean everything to me, I just hope you share your love equally to me,
Even if this does not work out, know this I'll always will remember this... and love you!

I Love You 'Syaza Adlina' <33

David Cook version 'Always be my baby'

You'll always be a part of me
I'm a part of you indefinitely
Girl don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby